Dealing with Hypocrisy and How to Stop being a Hypocrite
In this article you will learn the following
-45 Tips How to Stop being Hypocrite Yourself
-67 Examples of hypocrisy
The psychology of hypocrisy -Why people become hypocrite -Who are hypocrite -How to stop being hypocrite -How to deal with hypocrisy
In its simplest form hypocrisy can be defined as the phenomena — when I do it — it is the greatest smartest feat ever accomplished by anyone but when you do it — it is cunning, shameful, abhorring and disgusting.
Each one of us become hypocrite in certain situations and with some people.
Some of the natural hypocrites are — social-preacher, religious-preacher, moral-preacher etc. — who have solutions and suggestions for everyone — but never follows what they preach themselves.
India has the largest population of hypocrites in the world.
You will invariably come across hypocrites [without even trying to find one] — a critics, a Baba/Guru, Indian TV News Anchors, Politicians, Bureaucrats, Moral-police person, vigilante and social-judge etc. — who yap continuously in high decibels -to make you feel guilty, wrong, worthless.
You will also find people who suggest what you should eat, dress, live, talk, marry etc. — I have a person who is hardcore RWinger — who tells me what to read and why what I am reading is wrong.
Why we become hypocrite is because most of us expect a lot on the moral-compass from others — but find it difficult to live upto our own standards/ expectations from others.
You may sincerely believe in certain values yourself — and when find it impossible to live them — then you blame others or make excuses when questioned — to deflect negative-attention.
Hypocrisy is the state where you have inconsistent thoughts and contradictory beliefs along with having double or triple standards.
Many of us might display the double standards — when it comes to — how we perceive ourselves as well as judge our loved ones — in a specific situation — vs. others.
Cognitive dissonance occurs when a person’s behavior and beliefs do not complement each other — when this happens people may choose to operate from their unhealthy defense mechanism like — avoidance, projection, blaming-others, making-excuses and or resorting to hypocrisy.
Hypocrites claims having high moral standards — which does not get reflected in their behaviors — it is a pretense of morality and then trying to prove that others don’t have them.
When we are being a hypocrite — we accuse others of doing something immoral although the same immoral behaviors we are displaying ourselves.
Hypocrites typically have an inflated sense of ego and complete lack of empathy as well as inability to be humble.
Hypocrisy is a form of projection people use to avoid taking personal responsibility and to gain control over a situation without admitting any of their lacuna and blunders
Genesis or root-cause of hypocrisy -what causes hypocrisy — your deep rooted emotional-insecurities, shame, guilt, regret etc. — which triggers — fear, low self-(worth/pride/esteem/ confidence/acceptance etc.).
Hypocrisy makes the hypocrite feel morally superior to others — say by gossiping or by attacking others — because they might be deeply concerned about their own performance, own capabilities as well as their inadequacies.
Hypocrites put a mask to be a person who they are not and use all the tools like — avoidance, projection, blaming-others, making-excuses, creating lies, abusing, violence, using force to suppress others — especially when they sense that they might be attacked on their major blunders — or are going to be judged.
Hypocrites never forget and forgive anyone — even if it is a perceived hurt.
But when it comes to them — they can never be wrong — and hence never admit being one.
Hypocritical behavior creates issues of untrustworthiness, entitlement, lack of empathy, deep-rooted insecurity and lack of self-awareness in your all-important relationships — in the unhealthiest cases these people become Narcissistic GasLghting Toxic Partner.
45 Tips How to Stop being Hypocrite Yourself
- 1.Show your human side and vulnerabilities
- 2.Accept your mistakes and apologize
- 3.Trying making up f you have wronged or hurt someone
- 4.Seek help to understand where you have wrong assumptions, incorrect thinking patterns, negative and self-harming attitudes and self-sabotaging behaviors and habits
- 5.Learn to be yourself
- 6.Learn to accept yourself with your strengths as well as your weaknesses, flaws and imperfections
- 7.Identify your core-values and find out how you can live them
- 8.Learn and practice to be humble, polite and soft-spoken
- 9.Polish your manners, etiquettes and communication styles
- 10.Identify and accept your imperfections — no one is
- 11.Identify your areas of shame and take actions to learn, upgrade and reskill — so as not to repeat
- 12.Learn to laugh at your own follies
- 13.Develop empathy to understand why people do what they do
- 14.Become a great observer of human behaviors
- 15.Learn to practice bothering about what other people are doing and focus on yourself
- 16.Stop giving a damn about what others say or think
- 17.Stop blaming others
- 18.Stop making excuses — take responsibilities for your own actions and decisions and their consequences
- 19.Understand your fears, your insecurities and anxieties — identify triggers that makes you adopt negative defense mechanism
- 20.Promise less deliver more
- 21.Don’t expect others to change — stop trying to change others
- 22.Work on yourself to avoid feeling unnerved by FOMO — fear of missing out
- 23.Instead create JOMO — joy of missing out
- 24.Stop enjoying gossiping and back-biting
- 25.Become aware about your own biases — religion-wise, race-wise, language-wise, region-wise, skin-color wise etc.
- 26.Identify your pre-set assumptions and perceptions and challenge them objectively
- 27.Know your weaknesses, flaws and shortcomings — then work on those which are restricting your growth, happiness, success and relationships
- 28.Become respectable
- 29.Start respecting others
- 30.Understand that — you will apply different standards to different people to evaluate them — like to experts your expectations would be higher — same rule applies to others as well
- 31.Avoid being a moral-judge or moral-police or vigilante — this can be the most self-defeating mindset and behavior that you can have
- 32.Be true to yourself and to others — hypocrisy is an addiction. You dupe people once and think you can get away with it again. But although you may think that you’re fooling the world, you’re only kidding yourself. People are on to you, and the ramifications are worse than you think
- 33.Respect yourself and others
- 34.Be mindful of your tone
- 35.Plan or practice what you are going to say
- 36.Don’t be afraid to say “no
- 37.Use reflective listening
- 38.Keep the focus on the problem and try not to focus on the person
- 39.Identify and work toward a resolution
- 40.Understand why blaming good to you — ensure that you are not into the pot calling the kettle black feel
- 41.Understand that in relationship by merely put your partner down does not make your winning real winning
- 42.Set a firm healthy boundary
- 43.Don’t always assume that others are aware that they are doing something wrong — as in few cases the person may have even thought they were doing something good to benefit others
- 44.Never assume you understand the situation that shaped a person’s decision — you don’t have access to this information — at times not even for yourself
- 45.Be as honest as you can about your own moral failings when they are happening — beattentive to your justifications to help you appreciate how easy it is to deviate from your values and ideals — so that you can avoid unnecessary relationship issues
67 Examples of hypocrisy
- 1.Toxic and gutter journalism — as practiced by Indian TV news channels
- 2.You text and talk on your mobile while driving — but may ask others not to do it
- 3.You may claim that you don’t differentiate between your children yet may subconsciously choose one kid over others
- 4.You may say that you treat everyone equally but may actually avoid mixing with people of certain race, skin-color or religion
- 5.You do check your social media during work hours but when others do it you object
- 6.You object to bribery and corruption but when you are in hurry you try to use monetary or other inducement to get your work done earlier
- 7.You stop others from jumping queue — but at times justify your doing it
- 8.You are very vocal about gossiping — but when others talks behind someone’s back you enjoy and participate energetically
- 9.You talk bad about others behind their back — but don’t never want others to talk bad about them
- 10.You claim that you are a tolerant person but only tolerates people who agree with you
- 11.You talk about animal cruelty but are happy to eat anything that moves and irrespective of how they are killed or cooked
- 12.You talk about gender equality but expect the males to pay for the meal
- 13.You tell people to be authentic but always trying to become someone you are not
- 14.You talk about promoting merit but actually promote your friends and family
- 15.You talk about following traffic rules but yourself for road-rage and rash and indiscipline driving
- 16.You stereotype others although you say that you never do that
- 17.You talk about religious freedom and equality but exclude people whose religions are different from yours
- 18.You may call someone else selfish but then only do things that benefit you alone
- 19.You talk about sharing responsibilities but forget to do your own chores
- 20.You are rich and privileged class but talk about rising prices and inflation and not having money
- 21.You fight for increase in your salary but don’t want to increase the wages of your household staff
- 22.You talk about core-values but use any trick to get your ends
- 23.You only speak-out about social-issues, human-issues only when it is advantageous for you
- 24.When you are caught in your lies — you point flaws in the person who brought your lies out
- 25.When they say one thing but do something totally opposite
- 26.When they treat those in power reverently and differently with people who are not powerful
- 27.When thy only give advice but you can never see them using their own medicines
- 28.Ask others to volunteer but won’t volunteer themselves
- 29.When they have a different public life but unimaginable one personal life — like they are preaching morality but have a secret-shameful life
- 30.They may use any trick to win acceptance and get their ways — they may behave like a chameleon that is to gain acceptance change their viewpoints conveniently
This article was originally published as “45 Tips How to Stop being Hypocrite & 67 Examples of hypocrisy “ in https://successunlimited-mantra.com/index.php/blog [1st]for more than 3000+ blogs, articles and answers on creating metamorphosis in every aspect of your life — personal, professional, business, mental, emotional, social, relationships — please visit all three links http://relationshipandhappiness.com/ [2nd] and https://www.quora.com/profile/Subhashis-Banerji [3rd]
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