Develop high frustration-tolerance for massive growth and to beat mediocrity

In this article we will learn the following

- 23 questions to identify your frustration-triggers

- 75 Strategies to build, develop and strengthened Frustration-Tolerance — given randomly and not in any specific order

How to deal with your low frustration tolerance in life Developing healthy frustration tolerance.

Frustration-tolerance is one of the most-important life-saving, growth and self-developmental skill.

Anyone who can handle setbacks, crises, upsets, shocks and major-disruptions — is more likely to be happy-healthy-successful and can have meaningful growth and relationships.

In this highly VUCA world of chaos-changes-disruptions — each one us goes through multitude of emotionally-draining feelings of frustrations and irritations.

To manage negativities — we also need to ignore and to disregard — insignificant incidents [which because of our EGO or insecurities may make us feel as if they are life and death situations].

When you ignore the unnecessary meaningless emotions urges and distractions and energy-drainage — you will be able to focus on most meaningful pursuits — and your self-esteem, self-respect and self-confidence etc. would become stronger and stronger.

Frustration-tolerance — is an essential prerequisite — when you need to solve large problems and are trying to deal with massive-challenges.

Because many of your efforts-ideas-solutions would fail — and the resulting frustrations has to be managed effectively so as not to get sidelined from our main objectives.

If you are pursuing larger-than-life goals — having a healthy frustration-tolerance keeps you going persistently and ensures that you don’t give-up.

People with high frustration tolerance are able to deal with setbacks successfully and are able to bounce-back from adversities faster.

Persons with low frustration-tolerance will have stressful relationships AND an average-life with mediocre-accomplishments and successes — because they have little patience for their partners’ behavior or their intolerance to everyday situations and it can lead to increased bitterness, acrimony and stress in the relationship.

Unless you have a low frustration-tolerance due to some medical-condition — frustration-tolerance can be learned — in the same manner — you have learned to lose your self-control often and at small incidents.

If you take steps to build frustration-tolerance — you will realize that quality of your life is improving exponentially and magnificently.

If you generally have difficulty in managing your frustrations — it could be a symptom of a bigger issue.

Frustration is unavoidable because things do not always happen — as we would like them to.

All of us have our very-typical and very-different response to — how we deal-with and respond-to frustrating situations and people.

Some of us lash-out [when we are feeling frustrated and irritated] to those very people who are trying to help us and might be our most sincere care-giver.

Some people acquire an aggressive approach whereas some others may withdraw and become passive.

Frustration-Intolerance — limits your intellectual functioning — because solving your life’s problems — needs continuous focus, attention and persistence in the face of difficulty and tough -situations — which having a low frustration-tolerance threshold just does not help.

Frustration-intolerance may also may create serious psychiatric-disorders. 7 Common frustration triggers for kids as well as adults — add your own — as these are given to make you identify yours

• 1.Disrupted-sleep or no sleep
• 2.Sudden emergencies in the realm of uncertain-scary-unknown
• 3.Exhaustion, fatigue, hunger
• 4.Upcoming socially-draining events
• 5.Continuous failures
• 6.Unable to manage your emotions
• 7.Feeling powerless to deal with any situation or person

23 questions to identify your frustration-triggers

• 1.Do you feel that at times — you become irrationally-angry for something based only on your imaginations [like what could someone be saying or laughing at you or mocking you] — without any verification of these feelings
• 2.Do you become highly upset at minor inconveniences or mistakes made by others
• 3.Do you lash-out and shout at those people you deeply care-for — for minor reasons
• 4.Can even strangers make you lose your cool
• 5.Do you have very high expectations from others — even unknown and strangers and those whom you may not come across
• 6.Are there days — when you are angry and high-strung — most part of the day
• 7.Do you often feel ashamed-embarrassed-guilty — at your reactions when you look back or after your outbursts
• 8.Do you procrastination some occasions, events and actions — because of your inability to tolerate the frustration associated with a tough or boring task
• 9.Do you become high-strung and try to FIX any situation — rather than wait it out to see and take better informed and learned decisions and actions
• 10. Do magnify and Exaggerate your temporary discomfort and inconveniences
• 11. Do you go for short-cuts, quick-fixes and underhand and under-table — ways to get what you want
• 12. Are you more focused on pursuing immediate gratification — rather than go for chosen struggles to accomplish large meaningful and sustainable goals
• 13. Do you give-up — immediately when facing any challenge or obstacle or tough situation and difficult person
• 14. Do you have self-talks like — I can’t stand this or these people are so horrible
• 15. Do you become irritable or angry about everyday stressors
• 16. Do you avoid any task — which may cause you distress and discomfort
• 17. Do you feel unnerved by not being in control
• 18. Do you avoid expressing or sharing your views because of your fear of being misunderstood by others
• 19. Do you feel frustrated by your inability to manage anything — say your finances
• 20. Do you feel frustrated when you can’t find something
• 21. Do you feel bored easily and feel frustrated when you can’t find something interesting to do
• 22. Do you get frustrated when you have to wait in line
• 23. Do you feel irritated when a new gadget that you bought — you are not able to operate because of confusing instructions or even by get bugged by delayed deliveries

75 Strategies to build, develop and strengthened Frustration-Tolerance — given randomly and not in any specific order

• 1.Start becoming aware-of consciously — when you start to get frustrated
• 2.Talk to your someone about your frustration — to vent-out
• 3.Try to find out what are the triggers and the underlying problem
• 4.Also note down — how you react — to different challenging and trying situations and difficult-people
• 5.Keep asking yourself — you may not get answer immediately — the idea is to be aware-about what and who — frustrates and irritates you and then creating effective strategies to handle them better
• 6.When you have identified your all triggers — you need to brainstorm solutions — as there may not be any which meets all of your needs
• 7.Now work on — which ones are really insignificant and which ones you need to learn to handle better
• 8.Understand when your EGO is the cause of frustration-anger-irritations
• 9.Identify your major expectations — which might be big-time triggers of your daily frustrations and irritations
• 10. At the initial stages of brainstorming don’t shoot down any idea however ridiculous it may sound to you — the stage for feasibility will be later
• 11. Create multiple solutions and work on various possibilities
• 12. When you know that you are going to face situation or people who makes you lose your calm and control — be prepared with at least few ways you will manage yourself better — now that you know your triggers
• 13. Create a self-talk — if you are jittery and nervous about facing someone or any uncertain situation
• 14. Create small-small parts of tasks — for all your frustrating must-do jobs
• 15. Work frustrating activities[which you have to do — like say arranging your room-wardrobe-table-laptop or cleaning the garage-mowing lawn etc. — into your regular routine
• 16. Make these frustrating activities fun — you would be surprised when you focus on turning these irritations into fun and humor
• 17. Learn to ignore the power struggle — which happens through your ego
• 18. Face the facts-truths-and what is — stop trying to avoid them and trying to convince yourself otherwise.
• 19. Your ignoring problematic situations and people actually makes you weaker and puts you into the control of others and situations — which in-turn will create more frustrations
• 20. Focus on competing with yourself
• 21. Stop comparing yourself with anyone else
• 22. Identify and learn to challenge your limiting perceptions and assumptions
• 23. Understand your timeline and deadlines — course-correct them to minimize frustrations and disappointments
• 24. Understand that life is not always black and white AND all the time there is no war — where there are going to be winners and losers
• 25. Feel and become comfortable in feeling your scary and negative emotions and pains fully
• 26. Learn to understand and name what you are feeling — name it as close to as you can to the actual thing — use wheel of emotion for knowing the name
• 27. Ask your help -seek mentor
• 28. Understand that — there going to be many major life disruptions — like losing a loved one or your going through divorce — accidents, losing your job — are real disruptions and you can’t speed-up the healing and one of the essential of healing is feeling and going through your stressful and emotional
• 29. Also realize that having low frustration-tolerance can lead to chronic feelings of depression, anxiety and dissatisfaction — therefore for your own wellbeing you strengthen your ability to tolerate frustration
• 30. Start taking challenges that makes you stretch beyond your capabilities and makes you face unpredictable and uncertain and unknown situations
• 31. Be comfortable with trying out and failing — as long as you are correcting and bouncing back to the right-track
• 32. Talk to a mental health professional. Therapy can be a great way to examine and improve frustration tolerance.
• 33. Practice Tolerating Frustration — Purposely do something that is mildly frustrating, like working on a tough puzzle or waiting in a long line. Manage your self-talk, and use healthy coping skills to deal with your feelings.
• 34. Regaining control in your life by being aware through asking yourself
• I.The choices that you have
• II.The challenges that you are facing
• III.The changes that you must make
• IV.The dreams that you want to pursue
• V.Your limitations and weaknesses
• VI.Your strengths
• VII.Your unique abilities
• 35. Find someone with whom you can be truly yourself and with this person express yourself fully
• 36. Take full responsibility for your actions and decisions
• 37. Create and enforce healthy personal boundaries
• 38. Practice Delaying your Gratification and giving-in to your temptations
• 39. Focus on bigger-picture and delay your impulses and pleasure-seeking instincts
• 40. Create you mad — list everything that makes you mad
• 41. Learn to say NO firmly — don’t say yes and give permission for everything
• 42. Lean the self-control and practice self-discipline
• 43. Reframing — Make a list of the positives you’ll get out of life if you develop high frustration tolerance And how your frustrations will help you grow emotionally and mentally
• 44. Distracting techniques whenever you find yourself wallowing in frustrations — go do something physical
• 45. Spend time with and Model — someone who you know personally
• 46. Create a reward which in turn will again boost your positives — when you have been able to deal-with and overcome your frustrations
• 47. Create a must-do from the tough but essential task that you have been avoiding — if you give in to your frustrations
• 48. Force yourself to go into a situation in which normally makes you frustrated — plan how you will handle yourself
• 49. Visualize and get comfortable — imagine your biggest frustrations that you have right now — feel like shit — keep visualizing till you start feeling comfortable
• 50. Then imagine worse situation and see yourself handling it comfortably — try different methods to decrease your frustration
• 51. Learn to Differentiate between your needs, wants and desires — focus on the needs
• 52. Create a schedule to vent your frustrations — and once you have done so move-on
• 53. Learn to change your frustrations to humor — by laughing at how silly it is to feel irritated with these small matters
• 54. Differentiating Between Healthy and Unhealthy Emotion Regulation Activities
• 55. Start practicing Healthy activities that help you regulate your emotions — like Talking with friends, Exercising, Writing in a journal, mediation,
• 56. Practice to start Paying attention to your negative thoughts that occur before or after strong emotions
• 57. Notice when you need a break-and then take it
• 58. Create regular vacations and spending high quality time with your loved ones
• 59. Avoiding Unhealthy activities that may seem like they help but are very harmful — like alcohol, Avoiding or withdrawing from difficult situations, Physical or verbal aggression including Self-injury, Excessive social media use and ignoring your major responsibilities
• 60. Learn to Describe what you want in clear words
• 61. Practice assertiveness and saying no — even at times to your own impulses and needs for instant gratifications
• 62. Don’t attack, threaten, or express judgment during your interactions;
• 63. Understand that as much as you have right to say no — others to have the same right — so don’t get upset when people refuse your requests and needs
• 64. Show interest by listening to the others without interrupting.
• 65. Acknowledge other person’s thoughts and feelings
• 66. Be fair — not only to others but also to yourself
• 67. Never apologize — if it is neither your responsibility and nor your fault
• 68. Don’t apologize for making a request, having an opinion, or disagreeing.
• 69. Stick to your core-Values — never ever compromise your values just to be liked or to get what you want;
• 70. Stand up for what you believe in
• 71. Let go of victim mindset
• 72. Always challenge your assumptions by asking yourself — What interpretations or assumptions am I making about the event — Does my emotion and its intensity match the facts of the situation
• 73. Make self-care your everyday priority — by going for proper treatment of any illness + eat healthy + sleep well + relax + exercise + have fun
• 74. Look for and Pay Attention to Positive Events
• 75. Try a new hobby.

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Originally published at https://successunlimited-mantra.com on September 2, 2021.