How to push back assertively when you are pushed against the wall
In this article you will learn the following
-60 techniques to look sophisticated, being in complete control- when you are pushing-back and saying NO
-10 situations in work — in which you need to push back and say NO
-7 strategies I use — When I am pushed [these are not effective 100% of time but since I have started using these I get less upset when others are pushing me]
-20 tips how to push back when life is pushing you down
Stop being a pushover — push back when you get pushed against wall.
Acquiring and mastering the abilities to push-back — in the workplace as well as in other areas of your life — is not only an important leadership skill but also one of the most essential life-skills.
Developing the habit of pushing back in right manner would not only help you maintain your sanity but also create your image as a more competent, knowledgeable, in-control and balanced person besides making you become more skilled.
When, where, who, why and how you push-back when pressurized and pushed against the wall — starts from understanding your limitations, your most important objectives and your priorities.
Ask yourself — when you are pushed — what do you do — do you bring a drama element in your excuses — or do you take a firm stand and say NO assertively — or you just give-in and later blame yourself for taking all that sh*t.
At times — You also need to push back against yourself — when your self-esteem is based too heavily on what others think of you.
Please read my 10+ articles including Mastering the art of assertiveness in Success Unlimited Mantra Blog section in addition to this article.
10 situations in work — in which you need to push back and say NO
1. When you don’t have the resources
2. When the timeline is unrealistic and highly unreasonable
3. When you feel the request is unethical
4. When your safety is getting compromised
5. When you find yourself putting your health and well-being on jeopardy
6. When an impossible 100% perfection is demanded
7. When you are asked why you need personal time off
8. When you are supposed to be available round the clock at all hours
9. When your boss assigns you something that definitely isn’t your job
10. When you keep on getting piled up with work although you are working horrible hours already
60+ techniques to look sophisticated, being in complete control- when you are pushing-back and saying NO
1. Before you challenge anyone by pushing them back — ensure you have already
I. Create and establish your value — by displaying — your capacity of delivering result
II. Your creating excellence
III. Your attitude
IV. Your dependability
V. Your commitment
VI. Your value-addition to team as well the organization
VII. Building rapport and good relationship with all stakeholders
VIII. Created the image of being a problem-solver
2. Always focus on the issue — demonstrate that you understand the issue from theirs as well as multiple angles and why what you are suggesting is superior using solid data and evidence
3. Ensure that the words you use during pushback — does not make them look foolish and press their triggers to up their defenses -
4. Make your push-back sound non-threatening to them — assume that they have bloated EGO
5. Never attack their personality — use I sentences instead of YOU sentences
6. Let go of your own EGO
7. Never make your sentences come out like you are attacking their position and challenging their superiority and authority
8. Keep everything — evidence-based, issue-based and specific-solution based
9. Best thing you can do — before you push-back — is to be thoroughly prepared by anticipating their objections and insecurities and fears — in case you want to propose something new [as many people equal — new or unfamiliar to being dangerous]
10. Develop a holistic view — understand the big picture
11. Understand the culture and background of the person
12. Also understand the — consequences of your pushing back — are these are something you can’t deal with — THEN PLEASE don’t even think of pushing-back — till you get the capabilities to deal with resulting eventualities
13. Ensure that you respect the chain of command — and you are not working behind your senior’s back
14. Explore the number of different approaches to push-back — because if you chose the wrong approach — you may create unnecessary friction and damages to yourself
15. Learn to ask questions to understand the situation and why you are saying NO
16. Identify in how many different ways your push-back message can be interpreted — create clarifying statements
17. Also ensure that you — yourself are interpreting their request correctly
18. Paraphrase their request in front of them so that — they may themselves tone it down if the request sounds unreasonable
19. Become a great listener — listen to understand
20. Before you say no — create few alternatives which would create better outcomes and actually help the person better when you refuse their original request
21. Choose your battles — you don’t need to push back on everything that doesn’t meet hundred percent your approval
22. Avoid any battle just to satisfy your EGO
23. Work on your self-brand and image through building a healthy social reputation with the others — be known as helpful, respectful, articulate, sophisticated and elegant person
24. Always help others when it does not require significant effort for you YET it is very helpful to them
25. Know, establish and maintain healthy emotional-physical boundaries
26. Create a mindset of being consistent and persistent — when and how you push others back
27. Always ensure that you are seen as a team player who is easy to work with and who cares about others — when you are pushing-back — you are only demanding the same care in return
28. Don’t make a big deal of — when you were able to push someone successfully — keep doing your job in better and better ways and communicating with the person you refused a request as if nothing happened
29. Practice being transparent and authentic and of a person with solid integrity
30. Take small but powerful steps — to start the practice of assertiveness
31. When someone attacks you — ask clarifying open-ended questions to — to make those bully you — distracted
32. Learn not to react — by hitting them with blows below their belt
33. Learn to remain calm and assertive — and never allow them to browbeat you
34. Figure out what’s really bothering you — clarify first — before you pushback
35. Practice Practice Practice and then Practice some more of all the techniques given here
36. Learn to give-way in certain situations for certain issues to get your way — by outlining that you are willing to entertain an alternative view to facilitate solving the problem
37. Offer information that may be of value — acknowledge their arguments and appreciate their position
38. Be clear — do you want to win or solve the problem — both are not same all the time
39. Understand your story and their story- educate, don’t sell, blame, or accuse -communicate your hopes and goals -stay interested — understand that there are no guarantees that you would get your point across — however you can always remain respectful, interested, and purposeful and set limits and expectations
40. Stop using accusatory, attacking and opposing language — Lead your stance with positive recommendations and alternatives
41. Work on creating their buy-in — build bridges by identifying common goals — focus your discussions around how we can accomplish
42. Don’t yell, don’t shout -make sure you explain the reasons WHY you are refusing their requests
43. Keep your high standards high and raise the bar yourself
44. Understand the culture and the code of conduct in your workplace determines how you handle disagreement
45. Before you speak — compose a thoughtful response — it is not always easy, but effective pushback strategies are essential for productive communication and growth.
46. Work-on and develop your emotional as well as social intelligence
47. Involve and encourage participation
48. Document processes and procedures meticulously
49. Accept that sometimes you might need to enforce change
50. Also identify what mindset-habits-attitudes — you need to change in yourself
51. Demonstrate to the person that you understand their perspective
52. Hold firm or compromise, but do not let your ego make decisions
53. Be firm with your strategic direction — address the social aspects of the change — identify any existing trust issues and be transparent-communicate the logic for the change
54. Develop a plan for those who will be negatively affected
55. Practice and learn to be effective conflict handling and conflict-resolution
56. Always show respect — resist the temptation to belittle the opinions of others
57. Be honorable and respectable — be a person of your word -think in terms of possibilities and solutions be constructive be a positive thinker
7 strategies I use — When I am pushed [these are not effective 100% of time but since I have started using these I get less upset when others are pushing me]
This article was originally published as “60 tips how to assertively Push back when you are getting pushed”“ in https://successunlimited-mantra.com/index.php/blog [1st]for more than 3000+ blogs, articles and answers on creating metamorphosis in every aspect of your life — personal, professional, business, mental, emotional, social, relationships — please visit all three links http://relationshipandhappiness.com/ [2nd] and https://www.quora.com/profile/Subhashis-Banerji [3rd]
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