How to Stop Shooting Your Mouth to Avoid Regret Later
In this article you will learn the following
-86 Tips How to stop saying things you regret later
When you praise someone people definitely feel good yet very soon it is forgotten.
What people remember longest is — how you make them feel about themselves — when they are around you.
Most people never forget — instances someone make them feel insulted, feel awful about themselves, feel ashamed, feel small and feel guilty.
Even when you try to mend it later with magnanimous actions and gestures — the scars and memories of scars remains forever buried.
Hurtful and pain-causing words will never get forgotten — although few people may forgive if they are mature enough for their own inner-peace.
That is why all of us have to be careful with words that we might regret later.
We hurt the people we love and care for most through our words, gestures, actions, inactions, behaviors and ignorance.
Few people can also interpret innocent remarks and words negatively — but it is their lacunae.
Throughout my entire life I have spoken words — which I regretted later — as they have caused immense pain to the people I really care for deeply and love them most in the world.
Time to time — I still lose my self-control and say those things that I never meant in the heat of the moment.
Once you have spoken these words they become immortal in the minds of the listener.
Many time some of you would have noticed that — while you are about to speak these hurtful words — you get the warning siren ringing in your head — some of you — in a few instances — might stop yourself from uttering these regrettable words and in most you might just you’re your complete self-control.
When we are arguing and losing or feeling hurt or feeling cheated or feeling indignant with injustice — most of us will have the initial reaction to lash-out and mete out a proper retort — this is the danger zone.
Unless you have learned to wait for some time before speaking or reacting impulsively — those who are like me will face negative consequences.
Then there are few medical and psychological conditions — which can make us very angry to react in a way which is self-harming and self-destructive in long as well as short terms.
86 Tips How to stop saying things you regret later
[Unless it is self-executable — all the following tips — have 900+ detailed do-it-yourself articles in by two websites and 3000+ answers in my Quora page]
1. If in the argument — learn to create humor to turn awkward, difficult and challenging arguments and situations — into an emotionally manageable one but please don’t go overboard with humor lest it creates another fine mess — read my article on how to create humor
2. Some people say — that counting 10–20–30 — before responding works — I could never remember this in the heat of the moment but if it works for you — go ahead
3. Instead of replying, responding or reacting — take time out by moving out of that situation
4. If you must respond within a short time — take a vigorous walk or come back after you have done some kind of active exercise
5. Walk out — without responding or reacting — to avoid making it worse — don’t bother about — if others think you don’t have spine
6. Learn the art of maintaining silence even through you want to give a fitting reply — while in your brain you are trying out self-calming exercise with a poker face
7. Never try to break the silence — it is not necessary to always talk — avoid talking just for the sake of talking
8. Ensure that you share information — in a tense situation — judiciously only with appropriate audience — to avoid up regretting sharing information with irrelevant people or sharing too much for your won good
9. Learn to face rejection and criticism — effectively — read my blogs on these
10. Be aware when you are blabbering, shooting your mouth-off or ranting — even though you might be raring to go and it might feel liberating to complain about something or someone whom you don’t like — it is completely useless
11. Stop complaining — instead work towards solutions
12. Find at least something in the behaviors of others — which makes you respect them
13. Make respecting everyone without bias — your strong core value
14. Understand that even if you are right — there could be possibilities [that you are not aware of] which makes others right too
15. Even if you are most experience — instead of being arrogant about it — learn to be humble
16. Learn to avoid argument — which to prove who is right
17. Instead learn to have discussions with open mind — which is about finding out what is right
18. Learn to manage your ego — which comes from your own insecurities
19. Learn to work on your insecurities
20. Learn to manage your irritations, frustration and anger — effectively — read my blogs on these
21. Train yourself to change your breathing pattern — as and when you want — learn and practice the breathing that you have when you are calm
22. Introspect and reflect — what makes you feel like hurting others or to make feel low and bad — work on your insecurities
23. Identify your triggers that makes you lose your self-control — then work on them so that they stop putting you in bad situations and misery
24. Learn to use i statements — instead of you statements — whenever you are trying to explain why you are feeling hurt or angry
25. Learn to apologies when you realize you have made mistake
26. Apologize appropriately to cool the tempers
27. Don’t fight or feel bad about your negative emotions — identify the cause and work on them — you can’t control emotions but you must learn to manage your reaction and response to your explosive emotions constructively
28. Identify your shame, guilt and regrets that triggers bouts of losing your self-control and work on them
29. Learn to identify what message your emotions are giving you with curiosity
30. Learn to show empathy during a difficult conversation
31. When faced with very difficult situation or difficult person — learn, practice and master the art of asking questions that not only clarify but also to divert and distract till both parties cool-down
32. Learn to take ownership for your behavior and its consequences
33. With practice you would be able to catch yourself before you get too angry
34. Learn to practice healthy and meaningful communication
35. Learn to resolve conflict in healthy manner through win-win solutions
36. Don’t ignore problems, misunderstandings and other issues — schedule a time to sit and discuss with open mind — when in a dispute
37. Get help from wise people in your network if your strategies don’t work
38. Nurture and create positive connections and relationships with most important people in your life
39. Learn and improve the quality of your verbal interactions with others — in case — you talk too much or you tend to monopolize all conversations or it is only about you you and you or you interrupt others frequently or you make honest comments tactlessly without thinking through their impact on others
40. Learn to seek feedback and take feedback in healthy manner
41. Become a great listener
42. Suppress your urge of impressing others with talking and wanting to jump into every conversation
43. Know when to speak and especially when not to speak — for better impact
44. Learn to control your impulsivity
45. Stop talking about yourselves — instead learn to understand others
46. Take some situations that happen often and practice what would say if that happens — create a few reminders around wherever you are
47. Learn to speak slowly and clearly — for maximum impact
48. Learn to be polite and respectful — even if others are not
49. Learn to be assertive — to say no to things which are against your values
50. Learn how not to be mean to stop saying mean things
51. Work on your social anxiety
52. Take expert medical help — if you are depressed, overly angry or have disorders which makes you lose self-control easily
53. Work on your low self-esteem, low self-confidence, low self-pride and social and emotional insecurities
54. Learn to manage your stress effectively
55. Learn the etiquette and manners and practice it everywhere
56. Ask others to explain when their ideas differ from you — ask for outside opinion — then pay attention to understand
57. Learn to deal with others when they are trying to belittle you, or trying to insult you or abusing you
58. Also learn to deal with toxic, mean, difficult and arrogant
59. Learn to self-censor — by internally designing what you are going to say
60. Don’t say stupid things to avoid silence
61. Learn to become comfortable with silence
62. Always keep a question in reserve
63. Learn to recognize and also find ways to avoid overthinking and overanalyzing — especially if you are a compulsive social over-thinker
64. If you must break the silence ask a unthreatening question that makes others speak
65. If you have said something awkward or embarrassing — learn to forgive yourself instead of allowing it to make you miserable for long time after it has happened
66. Before jumping into any conversation — spend a little bit of time just listening to the conversation and understanding various dynamicsThis article was originally published as “How to stop saying things you regret later 86 Tips “ in https://successunlimited-mantra.com/index.php/blog [1st]for more than 3000+ blogs, articles and answers on creating metamorphosis in every aspect of your life — personal, professional, business, mental, emotional, social, relationships — please visit all three links http://relationshipandhappiness.com/ [2nd] and https://www.quora.com/profile/Subhashis-Banerji [3rd]
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