How to stop taking it Personally when You Don’t Get Invited and Included
In this article you will learn the following
21 Tips How to stop taking it Personally when you don’t Get Invited
15 Tips How to respond when you are left out of important meetings
32 Tips on How to deal with feelings of not being invited
How to be ok with not being invited included considered & recognized
You have to realize that there is a great happiness in the joy of missing out — in not wanting anything — of feeling fulfilled with what you have.
For this you need to be ambitious and don’t have to make any compromise with your dreams, standards and values.
People with purpose vision and dreams have no time or need for drama and show-off — they invest their time, energy and efforts ingeniously — to create and live a powerful life of positivity and meaning.
On the other hand some people make their happiness and self-worth dependent on others — and when they don’t get invited to some events [which they consider important] — they become resentful, hurt, embarrassed, ashamed, angry and even revengeful.
Yes, it definitely sucks when you find yourself excluded from any group, activities or events that you feel your right to be part of.
Not getting invited or included — impacts people with low self-esteem more — making them– as feel unnerved, rattled and disturbed, lose their self-control and take this phenomenon very-very seriously and negatively.
This article is about taking ownership and full control of your life’s quality as well as its directions — and focusing on the most important things in life — love, peace, joy and gratitude it all works out in the end.
To get that focused you have to learn to be okay with not being invited, included or considered — and not to worry about what others think and say about you.
But when you don’t get invited to something that has the potential to add real positive value to your objectives and dreams — then you must take empowering actions to claim your rights.
Confidence is not about believing that people will like you BUT about how your being fine irrespective of whether they like you or not.
21 thought process adjustments you need to make to stop taking it personally — how to handle the pain of rejection or feeling excluded and how to get rid of fear of missing out or FOMO
1. When it is about them AND not about you
I. When your not getting invited is happening because you never went to the other events they invited you — so they have stopped including you
II. They might have assumed — that you would not be interested in this particular event — as they may believe that you have shown your dislike for this type of event in the past
III. They feel that they are safeguarding your interest by not inviting you
IV. They might have thought that you are not going to be available because of your own pre-arranged engagements
V. This event might have happened on the spur of the moment — and whoever was there was included
VI. Maybe this is a circle where they have different focuses and completely different types of people — and they believe you may find yourself a misfit
VII. It could be due to oversight and wrong assumption or even financial [yours or theirs] or logistic related issue — which made them you left out
VIII. It could also be that you yourself missed — inviting this person a few times — and they feel that you are not keen on this relationship
IX. Maybe they find that when you are there — you steal the limelight
X. Maybe they feel that you dominate the discussions
XI. You might make them feel little or criticized or insulted or judged — which they don’t want
XII. You might have the habit of creating scenes or drama or some sort of unpleasant experience for others
XIII. They may feel that they will lose out on something if they invite you
2. Could the reason have something to do with you — ask yourself
I. Introspect objectively and ask — are you doing something that is putting people off — although it is very difficult if not impossible — creating self-awareness about your negative impact on others
II. Become aware of times situations and groups — when you go overboard and not only control the conversation but also take the limelight at the cost of people who are not assertive or who are submissive
III. Do you tend to make people uncomfortable with the type of topics you bring out
IV. Do you lack finesse or sophistication or social grace and etiquettes
V. Do you tend to say things or are in the habit of saying hurtful, insulting or belittling words
VI. Do you unconsciously put off people
VII. Pay attention to how many other people are saying the same thing about you — if your most loved and closest people are saying the same things — then better take notice and work on yourself
15 Tips How to respond when you are left out of important meetings
1. You find out about an important meeting — one whose outcome affects you and your team — after it happens.
2. When you’re overlooked for a meeting it feels bad personally and professionally and being the last to learn about key decisions can set your team back, and bring your leadership into question.
3. Then it might impact your influence and authority as well as your team’s ability to collaborate, and coordinate — and it is your responsibility to assertively claim your space by advocating for yourself and your team — by raising the issue in an empowering and respectful manner.
4. You also need to master the art of navigating through the office politics without getting sucked into negative implications.
5. Learn to ensure Never let the drama of a few insecure people derail your career
6. Introspect and objectively become aware — if you are insecure and feel vulnerable or paranoid or egoist
7. Clarify your doubts by finding out — whether the meeting is about another team’s objective — even though it may seem to you as if it relates to your team’s work
8. Find out — if you have been getting open or disguised signals giving the message that you are on your way out — then this exclusion does not matter as you are on your way out [especially if the work-culture or the seniors are not vales-driven, emotionally-secure professionals]
9. Ask yourself if the benefits of your attending meeting outweigh the negatives of forcing yourself -if you feel you want to be involved because of your ego just drop the urge to be included — as you might antagonize people who may have the power to influence your future in the organization
10. If you find that you need to be involved — you have to create a strong case why you should be included and how it may benefit the stakeholders and the organization, especially the seniors — your case should not focus majorly on your benefits alone
11. Focus on why your role makes it mandatory to be present in the meeting — all these should be based on data and evidence
12. Show how your presence would add value to the whole group and the long-term objective
13. Volunteer to help in organizing the logistics and meeting other requirements
14. Get in touch with the organizer to reach out can convey your thoughts, feelings, and tone most clearly — don’t whine or complain just state the benefits — direct the conversation toward addressing why it makes sense for you to be present
15. Show how your proposal addresses the opportunities for the organization to work together more efficiently and productively
32 Tips How to deal with feelings on not being invited — all the tips given in this article have detailed Do-It-Yourself blogs/articles and answers among my 900+ blogs on my two websites & My Quora answers
1. Understand that it is perfectly normal and OK to feel hurt, disappointed, angry, resentful and even embarrassed by not being included in someone’s plans — where you were expecting
2. And that, you have to learn to work on these highly un-resourceful feelings and emotions — otherwise you would set yourself up for a negative spiral of an emotional roller-coaster
3. If these are close people who did not invite you in the one-off event — you should give them the benefit of the doubt- assuming that it was an innocent mistake as they have good intentions and feelings towards you
4. Identify the events when you had chosen not to invite a few of these people
5. Also identify — when you left out someone — just because you forgot and regretted it later
6. Recall times when you could not invite someone because of some very practical reasons
7. Understand that it is okay to not include everyone in everything that you are doing — you do this as well as others do it
8. Yes if you missed inviting them but you want to maintain a good relationship with them — communicate your desire to include them in future events
9. If you got left out by someone — use tact to let them know subtly — that — you would be interested in being part of their group
10. You can use the energy of the feeling of rejection — to connect with people who uplift you
11. Learn to work on your insecurities and self-esteem
12. Learn to find joy of missing out JOMO
13. Learn to manage your negative emotions in empowering ways
14. If something like this make you upset — find out what — is it jealousy or hurt of getting ignored
15. Work on your self-respect and self-pride and self-confidence
This article was originally published as “60 Tips How to Deal with Being Left-out & not Getting Invited and Included “ in https://successunlimited-mantra.com/index.php/blog [1st]for more than 3000+ blogs, articles and answers on creating metamorphosis in every aspect of your life — personal, professional, business, mental, emotional, social, relationships — please visit all three links http://relationshipandhappiness.com/ [2nd] and https://www.quora.com/profile/Subhashis-Banerji [3rd]
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