Never date, have relationship-with or marry a woman who has lived in a traumatic, abusive relationship
Why you should never date or marry a woman who has lived in a traumatic, abusive relationship for long.
This is article is about men who are in relationship or are seriously considering marrying or having relationship with women who have had experienced cruelty, violence, suppression and many such emotional, mental and physical horrors — in their earlier relationship OR even from parents during growing up years.
There will be a separate article for women who have found someone with aforesaid type of abusive past.
These types of men will similar as well as different ways of behavior their women vis-à-vis women with their men of this type.
Even women should avoid dating or marrying those men who have been in emotionally shocking relationship for long.
Contrary to popular wisdom if we are hurt — we won’t hurt others.
The truth is that almost all the people who have held on to their pain, traumas, griefs and hurts long after it has been over — WILL DEFINITELY HURT THEIR PARTNERS IN MOST AGONIZING WAYS and in many cases their children as well.
This is also true for the people who are grieving because of the loss of a loved one years after the normal grief-cycle should have been over with their accepting the loss and moving with their life.
In both the cases — their past drives their present and hence their future.
Yes therapy, counseling can help — in mild cases — in very unhealthy state — it does not.
Some unhealthy cases can even fool and confuse the therapist and counselor.
These emotionally abused people are normally emotionally, mentally and physically unavailable to anyone.
For outside world they would be perfect example of wonderfully good human being.
But their closest one goes through hell of uncertain, shocking and unbelievable horrors.
Many of them are still living their past abuse [much after that person is no more able to impact their lives].
As a result of the abuses and their not able to handle it effectively then — they lose their self-respect, self-dignity, self-worth, self-esteem AND develop deep-rooted-emotional-insecurities.
This has been my experience of three personal relationships as well as numerous counseling cases in hundreds.
One Real-Life Example
I am requesting the reader of this blog tell me — Why — this happened — give all the reasons that you think of a golden relationship turning from Bless to Curse — at least for one partner who invested heavily emotionally and otherwise.
PLEASE NOTE
Don’t read the possibilities given by me — answer first and then only read my part.
This example is of deep-rooted insecurities created through past-abusive-relationships and how they can self-sabotage someone as well as impact their current relationships and their current partner’s life.
This is about a woman — who had an abusive relationship for almost 10+ years but did not walk-out of the same under the assumed-notion of giving the care of both the parents to her son.
Which never happened and she put-up with all kind of abuse — violence, sexual, physical, mental, emotional and financial.
After this became too-traumatic even for her to take it further — she sought and got divorced.
Then she was living alone with her son — still under terror of her ex.
Then she found a man about 8 months back — and as per her words
“Quote — in her own words”
For full read “Having relationship with women who were in abusive relationships” in RelationshipAndHappiness dot com
