The Harmful Impact of Living in Denial
Almost every other human being lives in some form of denial.
26 Clarifications about Denial
1. Denial is our bodies in-built primary subconscious defense mechanism for coping with catastrophic-failures, very great griefs and shocking situations — this acts as a temporary shock-absorber so that we get time to adjust with the reality.
2. Denial is healthy and useful only for very short-time and only in catastrophic situations of unprecedented nature.
3. While facing a shattering event — to cope with emotional stress, painful thoughts, threats, fears and anxieties — many times our mind refuses to acknowledge and recognize that something is wrong.
4. But in this article, we are exploring what types of permanent damages — living in denial can cause us in our life’s major aspects.
5. The biggest danger of living with denial is that — it will also numb positive emotions — such as making us immune to excitements, fun, happiness or enjoyment and bliss from fulfilling relationships.
6. But many of us has adopted it as our default strategy to fall back on — subconsciously.
7. So-Many of us could be living in denial without realizing it — which can be referred as ostrich-syndrome or living in fools-paradise as the proverb goes.
8. Biggest harm takes place — when we lie to ourselves, when hide our own feelings, when we refuse to acknowledge what is happening within us mentally, physically and emotionally.
9. When we are not being sincere, objectively-straight forward and brutally honest with ourselves about us — we are actually approaching a stage- where we would need treatment and therapies of various kind [if we are not already there] — in case we live with denial for long.
In the full article given in Success Unlimited Mantra’s Blog Section — “From the Heart of Subhashis” — we will learn
- 26 Clarifications about Denial
- 8 Upsetting and traumatic events that possibly can trigger denial in us
- 91 Signs of Subtle denial-modes — How to recognize if you are living in denial
- 19 of Our Major Denial-Tools or Defense Mechanisms
- 37 ways on How to move past denial
- 6 damages denial does to things most important to us
91 Signs of Subtle denial-modes — How to recognize if you are living in denial
1. Your performance is falling in the job — but you still feel that your organization will not throw you out — because of your past great performance
2. Your sense of entitlement and resentment is growing — as you have been constantly being bypassed for promotion and increment and also getting poorer grades — and you blame the bosses
3. Your finances are not good and maybe because of covid19 you also had a salary-cut — but you still maintain the same lavish life-style that you can’t possibly afford unless you borrow through credit-cads and personal-loans
4. You have been put on forced-leave or furlough AND you are just sitting and waiting for them to call you — without trying to acquire new talents as well as seek alternative avenues of income
5. You have not updated and upgraded your skills, knowledge and qualifications — since very long time — and find that youngsters are getting hired at better remunerations than you
6. You have started using lots of aids [based on advertisement value] — to look young — including wearing flashy dresses which does not suit you
7. You talk a lot about your past accomplishments — when you did extra-ordinary great things
8. You have not got increments or promotions in ages — but — you don’t do anything but blame the management for not recognizing your talents
9. You are thinking about going for upliftment of face and other body parts through various medical and non-medical procedures
10. You are using lots of quack-based supplements — without consulting qualified medical experts
11. Your relationship has hit bottom — but you feel that if you don’t bring out the tough topics and discuss openly — thy will go away
12. You are aware that you have been manipulated and being advantage of by few people regularly — but you say to yourself — let them have good time, it is their values not mine
13. You are depressed, feeling melancholic and sad AND know that you are not able to cope with — but still when real well-wishers offer to help you by taking you to experts — you lash-out at them and tell them that they are paranoid and that you don’t have any problems
14. You have been self-sabotaging your life and relationship [read my blog on this for additional information
15. You are being harsh with your supporters and trying to make that somehow your problems have come because of them
16. You are using unhealthy habits to overcome your negative feelings and to feel good
17. You have become too arrogant and very poor listener
18. When you are facing something hugely difficult challenge — You try to control things which is beyond your area of influence AND ignore things you need to change within yourself — then you blame everything
19. You feel good as you have people around you — who always agree with whatever you say
20. You want to hear only good news
21. You actually shoot the messenger of bad news by just laughing at them
19 of Our Major Denial-Tools or Defense Mechanisms
1. Displacement — taking our frustration of one situation and person — on others [who are weaker than you] and who did not have any role in your frustration
2. Denial -Denial is an outright refusal to admit or recognize that something has occurred or is currently occurring. People living with drug or alcohol addiction often deny that they have a problem, while victims of traumatic events may deny that the event ever occurred
3. Repression -Repression acts to keep information out of conscious awareness — but because these memories can’t just disappear — they continue to influence our behavior — For example — someone who has repressed memories of abuse suffered as a child — may have maintaining intimate relationships.
4. Suppression -Forcing the unwanted information out of our awareness — by burying it deeply — but they still influence our lives when some unconscious triggers are pressed.
5. Sublimation — This allows us to act out unacceptable emotional-energies in more acceptable form. For example, a person experiencing extreme anger might take up karate as a means of venting frustration
6. Projection — this is about taking our own unacceptable qualities or feelings and ascribing them to other people- For example — if you are suspicious of others — you may believe and tell your partner that they are being neurotic
37 ways on How to move past denial
1. When faced with an overwhelming turn of events, it’s OK to say, “I just can’t think about all of this right now.” You might need time to work through what’s happened and adapt to new circumstances. But it’s important to realize that denial should only be a temporary measure — it won’t change the reality of the situation.
2. HOW TO RECOGNIZE that we are in denial or using one or few of these mechanism — Most of the time — we will have to depend on our sincere and true well-wishers — to point out when we are in denial mode
3. Ask yourself, Am I willing to feel all my own negative emotions and pain and until the day that you can honestly answer yes to this question, you will struggle with denial
4. Ask yourself how you have been in denial in as far as your past is concerned. Identify what damages that denial did AND what could have avoided if you were not in denial at that time — What would do differently if faced with same situation again
5. Are you brave enough to ask trusted people to tell you what they think you are in denial about — Go over the list with the genuine desire to see how they might be right instead of spending your time defending how they are wrong.
6. If denial is one of your coping mechanisms — then you are into a self-abusive relationship you have with yourself — and — what you deny is what you actually need and actually want.
Read full article in Success Unlimited Mantra’s Blog Section — “From the Heart of Subhashis”
