The importance of having a healthy relationship with yourself and quality of life
Because of unprecedented crisis in the middle-class sect of the population due to massive job-loss, strained-relationships, erosion of savings and future-kitty, loss of business, concerns about the future of self and our children etc. Etc.
In this world of AFTER-CORONA[AC] when we are living still-being-conditioned in the emotional, physical, mental and social mind-frame of BEFORE-CORONA[BC]- the need to have the very best relationship with self-have become absolutely mandatory.
Now the following 6 military terms have once again become more important along with the existing VUCA [volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous — that existed even in before-corona world]
1. BOHICA (bend over, here it comes again)
2. FUBAR (f**ked/fouled up beyond all recognition or any repair/all reason) or fucked up by the assholes in the rear[rear meaning the top-leadership]
3. FUBU (f**ked /fouled up beyond all understanding)
4. SNAFU situation normal — all f**ked up
5. SUSFU — situation unchanged — still f**ked up)
6. TARFU (totally and royally f**ked up or things are really f**ked up)
9 Reasons why Our having great relationship with ourselves is most important
1. Our quality and closeness of our relationship with our most near and dear ones
2. Our success
3. Our happiness
4. Our peacefulness and calmness
5. Our having less baggage
6. Our living a fulfilled-life
7. Our living our life to the fullest
8. Our appreciating and recognizing the blessings that we have
9. Our encashing all the opportunities we get in every respect and every aspect of our life
In this article we will learn
- Why self-love and having a healthy-relationship is the most important self-care we can practice
- 9 reasons why having a healthy relationship with yourself is mandatory
- 71 tips on How to build wonderful intimate relationship with your own-self
- One real-life example — when we don’t love, respect, accept ourselves — how we sabotage our happiness as well as ruin others
The relationship we have with us sets the tone for every important relationship that we have with others as well as our successes, our growth and our happiness.
Even in the healthiest relationship — our self-image is somewhat dependent on our partner.
But in unhealthy relationships where our partner is not supportive — our insecurities, perceived-failures and flaws transform into something that harms us and the damage can be catastrophic
Self-love is completely non-negotiable and we have to find a way to create the most loving, most-caring and most-healthy relationship with ourselves.
Self-love makes us aware of our choices, our wants, our desires, our needs, our behaviors, our reactions and our impulses
But At times we can be our own worst enemy — our own worst critics — we judge ourselves negatively and undeservedly.
When we suffer trauma through abuse, especially abuse that continues in one form or another then our brain gets conditioned to expect things to go wrong — all the time.
Which makes us feel as if things are out of our control even now -just as they were when the original trauma took place and as a result there-of we remain in a permanently traumatized state.
Because of this we lose connect with ourselves and we feel totally powerless and helpless — later it gets part of our nature to play victim and use tantrums to keep ourselves in that pitying emotional state.
Many times, people develop psychological dis-orders in such a way that to regain their feeling of control — they resort to traumatizing others through passive-aggression and many other forms of subtle emotional-abuse.
Then these people kind of become unable to feel self-love because of the continuous internal self-criticism, negative-self-talk, shame, guilt, regret etc. — they fight to remain in this familiar and comfortable.
Many of this type of people — when they get into a relationship where their partner is very supportive and caring — they make constant efforts to kill and kick that person out of their life [many times this could be because of subconscious wiring getting short-circuited]
We lose track of who we really are — and start feeling ashamed of our core-self — which is the biggest lie.
When our Self-love is at bottom — and we are comfortable with abusing ourselves — then we also become adept in abusing others especially the ones who love us deeply and care for us sincerely.
At the end of this article — a real-life example is shared.
But the fact is — Self-love is the most difficult love to create.
When we are happy and content on the inside no matter what is taking place in our external world, we bring our best selves to our relationships with others.
Because — we attract people at the same vibrational level at which we love ourselves, if we feel inadequate, incomplete, broken or emotionally-immature we will end up attracting people who too have similar or worse issues.
On the other hand — if you have overflowing positive-vibes — you will be able to attract someone who is also whole — otherwise you may attract but may not be able to retain or kill that relationship and person emotionally at least.
71 tips on How to build wonderful intimate relationship with your own-self.
Create few rituals and follow them as non-negotiable-commandment
1. Wake-up little early
2. Sit in the nature
3. Relax with tea, coffee, lemon-honey-water — whatever is your pleasure
4. Think about one good thing that you have identified in yourself
5. Mediate visualizing your future
6. Do exercise, yoga, deep-breathing, stretching
7. Be kind. Be gentle. Be compassionate — being your own best friend and cultivating self-love, self-care
8. Decide how you will celebrate being yourself
9. How will you treat yourself today
10. Which person you will interact with — who makes you feel come-alive make you feel great about yourself
11. Which people you will connect with
12. Which toxic people you will delete from your life
13. Who will you forgive today
14. How will you honor your body with healthy foods, looking and identifying why you are a wonderful person
15. Identifying at least one new aspect about yourself that increases your respect about yourself and makes you feel worthy
One Real-Life Example
I am requesting the reader of this blog tell me — Why — this happened — give all the reasons that you think of a golden relationship turning from Bless to Curse — at least for one partner who invested heavily emotionally and otherwise.
PLEASE NOTE
Don’t read the possibilities given by me — answer first and then only read my part.
This example is of deep-rooted insecurities created through past-abusive-relationships and how they can self-sabotage someone as well as impact their current relationships and their current partner’s life.
This is about a woman — who had an abusive relationship for almost 10+ years but did not walk-out of the same under the assumed-notion of giving the care of both the parents to her son.
Which never happened and she put-up with all kind of abuse — violence, sexual, physical, mental, emotional and financial.
After this became too-traumatic even for her to take it further — she sought and got divorced.
Then she was living alone with her son — still under terror of her ex.
Then she found a man about 8 months back — and as per her words
“Quote — in her own words “
For full please read “Creating the most wonderful relationship with yourself” in the Success Unlimited Mantra’s blog section “From the Heart of Subhashis”
AND please read “Having relationship with women who were in abusive relationships” and why not to date and marry them in RelationshipAndHappiness dot com
