What makes us Jealous and How to Become Comfortable with Ourselves
In this article you will learn the following
-12 major causes of Jealousy — What makes us Jealous
-57 tips on How to Deal With Jealousy
-28 ways people react when jealous
-15 Signs of jealousy in a relationship
How your unmet-desires and unrealistic-expectations can trigger jealousies in you
Jealous people inadvertently — sabotage their own growth-success-happiness-relationships-peace and anything that is worth in their life.
Have you met few or do you have those people in your circle — who are jealous of you and your accomplishments.
Do you yourself feel jealous of others — Do you feel jealous of few people most of the time — Do you feel jealous of successful and happy people.
Jealousy is a very disempowering and un-resourceful state-inducing emotion.
Like all our negative and uncomfortable emotions — jealousy too — is a signal and a message [that your body and your subconscious is giving] for taking immediate corrective actions to resolve a deeper issue and to prevent bigger damages.
Jealousy offers us an opportunity to introspect and reflect and to get in touch with our own deeper needs within along with giving a chance to know how we want to be treated by others.
Jealousy can happen between your siblings, in your romantic relationships, in your professional and work-front, in your social circle or even among your contacts on social media whom you may not know at all.
Jealousy happens when we are only focusing on what we don’t have and blindingly ignoring our blessings and what positives we already have.
When we are feeling Jealous — our entire self is focused how miserable and unfortunate and unlucky we are — slowly this thinking become a pattern of a vicious circle of negative spiral — which in turn cripples our Self-Confidence and Damages our Self-Esteem in most destructive ways.
Jealousy kills relationships and a jealous person will have very few friends which in turn can lead to extreme feelings of loneliness, depression, isolation and melancholy.
Those who have been jealous would agree that Jealousy feels so unpleasant and uncomfortable and makes you feel so low.
You may experience people displaying different types of jealousies — pathological or psychological, sexual, romantic, power-based, attachment, envy and creative jealousy
12 major causes of Jealousy — What makes us Jealous
1. Jealousy is almost always due to deep-rooted emotional insecurities
2. Jealousy happens due to our unmet desires and having Unrealistic expectations
3. When we only dream and expect it to happen without taking appropriate actions
4. Expecting something without putting requisite efforts
5. Having a large sense of entitlement and not getting it
6. Jealousy can also be due to when we focus on our biggest negatives only and on other’s highest positives
7. You may feel jealous — when you are feeling insecure, rejected, worried, ashamed, guilty or have serious self-doubt
8. When you compare with others on totally unequal parameters
9. Your Unresolved emotional hurts can cause jealousies
10. Perfectionistic may find themselves feeling jealous if they often compare themselves with others
11. Obsessive overthinking, Paranoia, Trust issues also leads to jealousies
12. Medical Conditions that might be linked to Jealousy includes — Anxiety disorders, Attachment issues, Borderline personality disorder (BPD), Depression, Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), Paranoia, Psychosis, Schizophrenia, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
28 ways people react when jealous — indicative sample list
1. Jealousy provokes show-off — when we are jealous to prove that we are also somebody we may resort to unnecessary, unhealthy and unproductive and harmful ways to show-off
2. Jealousy may also make you compare without any logic and solid rationale
3. It makes you project your own insecurities, fears, weaknesses, mistakes on others — Projection refers to unconsciously taking unwanted emotions or traits you don’t like about yourself and attributing them to someone else
4. Jealousy triggers competiveness — where there is none needed
5. Jealousy may fill you with fear of missing out FOMO
6. Attacking others without regard to how it may make feel
7. Trying to manipulate others
8. Trying to make others feel bad, put them down
9. Criticizing to make others feel inferior
10. Trying to hurt others consciously
11. Taking actions which may result in the loss of others
12. Backbiting and gossiping about others
13. Trying to dominate and control others
14. Using threat and aggressive behaviors
15. Using unhealthy tools to feel temporarily good — like alcohol, tobacco and drugs
16. Going for reckless behaviors and taking bad risks
17. Self-defeating and self-harming behaviors
18. Putting the important relationships at risk
19. Planning revenge
20. Playing politics
21. Becoming anxious, lonely and depressed
22. Social-withdrawal
23. Criticizing, Fault finding, Blaming
24. Distrustful of others
25. Being overprotective or suspicious
26. Quick temper
27. Verbal abusing
28. Medical/Physical Complications of Jealousy — Stomach aches, Headaches, Chest pain, High blood pressure, Palpitation in extreme anxiety, Weight gain or loss, Insomnia or disturbances in sleep, Poor appetite, Weakened immunity
15 Signs of jealousy in a relationship
1. Lack of trust and suspicion -Checking up on their partners obsessively
2. Stalking you -Following you around — openly or incognito
3. Furious when you do something without them — especially when you have good time without them
4. Intervening in your social circle
5. Questioning your friendship with other people
6. Wanting to know about your past
7. Telling you how to dress
8. Failing to see the good in you
9. Flaring up when you mention another person
10. Accusing you of cheating
11. Discouraging you from going out
12. Controlling others and other’s behavior
13. Puts you on defensive and forces you to explain yourself
14. Getting angry when you give compliments to others
15. Feel bad when you compliment or appreciate others
57 tips on How to Deal With Jealousy — many of the tips given below have detailed do-it-yourself-blog among my 900+ articles in my two websites and 2000+ answers on my Quora page
1. Jealousy can occur at any time, especially in situations that feel threatening — jealousy can also get build-up over time — and then gets triggered into explosive behaviors
2. Learn not to take anything personally
3. Understand that your success and happiness DOES NOT GETS REDUCED — because of other’s success and happiness
4. Learn to get motivated and inspired from other’s success and happiness
5. Become authentic — become yourself — be honest with yourself
6. Know what you want — what is your big picture AND all the WHYs of why you want them
7. Learn to be vulnerable and show your vulnerabilities
8. Accept your mistakes and Learn to apologize when wrong
9. Accept yourself — identify and know your weaknesses as well as your strengths
10. Practice assertiveness
11. Express yourself using I sentences
12. Know the situations and people — which triggers jealousies in you
13. Identify through inner-exploration — why some people and certain situations make you jealous
14. Find out what are your unmet-needs and unfulfilled-desires
15. Identify which of your strong desires are really important — create action plan to achieve what is real important to you
16. Create a learning and upskilling regimen that can give you the expertise to become an expert
17. Master few important professional, social and life skills
18. Polish your communication, presentations, public-speaking skills
19. Practice the etiquettes to make you come out as suave, sophisticated and elegant
20. Be respectable — give respect to others
21. Become a great listener — speak politely and with humbleness
22. Learn to handle put-downs and insults assertively
23. Learn healthy ways to handle jealous feelings — by using this energy to learn and accomplish great things
24. Become aware about your fears and then create healthy ways to Confront and challenge and deal with your fears
25. Identify and challenge and then suitably create solutions to Address your expectations in your important yet troubled relationship
26. Challenge your expectations from life and make it realistic
27. Create healthy coping mechanisms to deal with your stress, your depression and your anxieties and fear
28. Understand that Jealous Thoughts Can’t Be Removed — But You Can learn to Express Them Properly
29. Speak Up in a resourceful and empowering manner — when you are feeling anger, insecurity, resentment and jealousy
30. Ask For other’s understanding in assertive manner
31. Don’t work on relationships those are not adding value to you — Ask Yourself if some Relationship Really For you
32. Learn to Stop comparing yourself with others
33. Learn to manaage and Question your negative thoughts
34. Work on your self-esteem, self-pride, self-confidence
35. Do what you love — learn to live life as per your own values
36. Be aware of how jealousy is destroying your relationship
37. Learn to create healthy self-control to prevent your own thoughts from spiraling out of control
38. Focus on the positives of your relationship
39. Practice self-love and self-care
40. Work on your trust issues — Trust yourself and your partner
41. Take Time Out to relax and to Focus On Yourself
42. In case you get jealous of celebrities — understand that Being jealous of celebrities is a complete waste of energy — as they certainly have the fame and money — they might have some extreme pain-areas that you would not want at any cost
43. If your jealousy is about your personal body image- it can result in disastrous self-hatred — work on ways to find yourself attractive in heathy and empowering ways
44. Get rid of people who are always criticizing and belittling and insulting you
45. Get rid of toxic and difficult people or learn to manage them betterThis article was originally published as “57 Tips How to Deal With Jealousy “ in https://successunlimited-mantra.com/index.php/blog [1st]for more than 3000+ blogs, articles and answers on creating metamorphosis in every aspect of your life — personal, professional, business, mental, emotional, social, relationships — please visit all three links http://relationshipandhappiness.com/ [2nd] and https://www.quora.com/profile/Subhashis-Banerji [3rd]
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